Hold on
by HopelessRomantic1994
Summary: How will Mal and Natara cope when they lose the most precious thing to them? They'll have to hold on to eachother and try to get through it...together. First sad Fanfic let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi , I've decided to discontinue my other story **_**Where it takes us**_** because I totally have crazy writers block so i've decided to cut my loses and start a brand new story, Thank you to everyone that supported **_**Where it takes us **_**really grateful extremly but I honestly dont know where to go with it so that's why I'm starting a new story with a fresh idea, this is my first sad story so I'm abit nervous of how it will turn out, so I hope you like it!**

Blaise helped a wasted Mal flop on her couch, she quickly disappears into to the kitchen and comes back with a mug full of hot liquid, she offers it to Mal as he looks up at her with red blood shot eyes.

**Mal:**"Tea..do you not have anything stonger?"

**Blaise:**"I think you've had enough, don't you?"

**Mal:**"Probably.."

Mal rubs his sore, sleep deprived eyes and takes the mug from Blaise and takes a long sip as Blaise sits beside him with the look of deep concern on her face.

**Blaise:**"Mal, why are you doing this to yourself?"

Mal takes a deep breath and taps his fingers against the mug in his hands.

**Mal:**"She... she lost it."

Blaise's face screws up with confusion.

**Blaise:**"Who...lost what?"

**Mal:**"Natara was...pregnant."

**Blaise:**"Oh my god really?"

**Mal:**"Yeah...her and I were so happy and excited, we were going to tell everyone next week, she would have offically been 12 weeks along, but she called me and I could hear the fear in her voice, she said she had really bad stomach pains and there was...alot of blood, I errm rushed her to the hospital as quickly as I could...but by the time we got there it...it was too late, she had already suffered a miscarriage-"

Mal voices breaks as tears start to fall from his eyes, he tries to hold them back but its no use, Blasie takes the mug out of Mal's hands and carefully places it on the coffee table and takes Mal's hand and squeezes it and has the deep look of pity in her eyes.

**Blaise:**"Mal, I'm so sorry, I can't possibly know what your going through but I do know that drinking yourself into oblivion isn't going to help you or Natara and isn't gonna make the pain go away; where's Natara now?"

**Mal:**"Still at the hospital, when she had the miscarriage, it made her really ill so they kept her in to keep an eye on her, run tests and stuff like that, she told me to go home and get some rest, but I didn't know what to do with myself, after walking around for hours, I ended up in a bar...I was gonna be a dad, I was so happy and to make it even more perfect the love of my life was going to be the mom but now.."

Mal is cut off once again as tears flood from his eyes, Blaise had never seen Mal cry before; infact this was a side of Mal Blaise had never seen before, she knew how much he loved Natara; everyone did and the fact that he was going to have a child with her and be a family must been the most the amazing news Mal could ever recieve, but that fact that they had lost something so precious to them, must have been devastating,however Blaise knew Mal well enough to know that even though he felt this way, she knew he wouldn't have told Natara because he'd want to put on a brave face to support her, but she still pointed out the obvious that had to be said,even if Mal didn't want to hear it.

**Blaise:**"You have to tell Natara how you feel."

To her surprise Mal didn't argue back at all, he simply looked down and said:

**Mal:**"I know."

**Blaise:**"Do you want me to take you back to the hospital?"

Mal didn't answer, but nodded instead and Blaise drove Mal through the quiet streets as the midnight moon lit up the empty streets until they finally arrived at the hospital, Blaise walked up with Mal and walked him up to Natara's room, he turned to her unsure, Blaise took a deep breath and placed her hand his shoudler to reassure him.

**Blaise:**"I'll wait out here while you talk to her, give you two some privacy."

Mal nodded and walked into the room, Blaise watched as Natara looked up as Mal approach her bed side, he kissed her forehead, took her hand and sat next to her as she painfully struggled to sit up in the hospital bed, she watched as Mal spoke to Natara; although she couldn't hear what was being said, she had a rough idea , she saw Natara's colourless face grew somewhat empathetic, she watched as the tears gently slid down Natara's cheeks from her eyes and she watched as Mal pulled her close in a loving hug, and she saw how tighly Natara hung on to Mal as if feeling protected by him and she watched as Mal and Natara cried in eachother's arms.

**Well? I know its short sorry, what do you think I know it's sad but i thought i would try something different, please review! Thanks Jade :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, thank you to the people that reviewed and thanks to mozzi-girl, for what you said in your review really appeciate it! Anyway here's chapter 2! :)**

Mal drives Natara back from the hospital and carefully escorts her up the stairs towards his apartment and gently helps her lower herself onto his couch, she curls up with her knees pressed up against her chest and she stares, emtionlessly at the wall.

**Mal:**"Can I errm get you anything?"

Natara doesn't speak, she just slowly shakes her head.

**Mal:**"Are you sure your not hungry? Do you want something to drink?"

Natara shakes her head again, Mal looks at Natara with pity in his eyes, for the last few days he feels like he's been walking on egg shells around her; afraid of saying the wrong thing, he takes a deep breath and walks into the kitchen to make some coffee, he glances threw the doorway and sees Natara still sat curled up; starring at the wall, he notices her bottom lip tremble and tears start to fall from her eyes, he quickly walks back into the living room to join her on the couch and he pulls her close so her head rests on his chest and she lets the tears fall like a uncontrollable waterfall, all goes quiet until the silence is broken by Natara's small, timid and broken voice.

**Natara:**"I got the test results back.."

Mal looks down at Natara.

**Mal:**"What did the doctor say?"

**Natara:**"He said there could've have been a number of reasons why it happened; there was something wrong with the baby, my body rejected it, or it could've just been the fact that now wasn't the right time... I mean in some respects it's kind of a relief...I mean we're not married and we're not really together but I just can't help but feel like I've lost a part of myself."

Mal holds Natara close as she starts to cry again.

**Natara:**"God, this is so stupid! How can I be upset over something I never really had, I've never seen it or touched it, yet I feel like my hearts been ripped out, this isn't fair!"

**Mal:**"Shhh Natara, I know it hurts but we're going to get through this, I don't know how but we will, I promise."

He holds Natara close and strokes the back of her head, comforting her until eventally she falls asleep in his arms.

The next day, Mal finally talked Natara into going out somewhere to get out the apartment, after everything that had happened Captain Yeong gave Mal and Natara time off to cope with their lose, only her and Blaise knew, so who knows what rumours were spreading around the precinct about why both, Mal and Natara were having time off work, but to be honest that was the last thing on their minds; Mal sits across from Natara at a small chinese restaurant near the bay, Natara still hasn't spoken much, and Mal hated seeing her like this; broken, weak and quiet, she wasn't herself and he just wished everything was back to normal but it wasn't and even through losing the baby was killing him inside too; he tired his damned hardest to stay strong for Natara, as the restaurant rumbled with diners, eating, joking and laughing, and the sound of forks and knives hitting plates, Natara sat quiet, staring at her plate of rapidly cooling food, Mal kept taking glances at Natara whilst trying to eat his own meal, until evetually, he spoke up.

**Mal:**"Natara, come on you've got to eat something, please, the doctor says you have to keep your strength up and you've not eaten for days."

Natara, again said nothing, she slowly lifted her head to look at Mal blankly and her eyes wondered over his shoulder and as they did, the colour drained from her face, Mal noticed this and turned to follow Natara's gaze, to see and couple at the next table with a new born wrapped in the women's arms, Mal quickly looked back at Natara as her eyes filled with tears and she quickly jumped up from the table and ran out the door, Mal was quick to follow her; he runs to grab her in a comforting hug, but she pushes him away.

**Natara:**"No Mal, I-I can't do this, it's...it's too hard and it's hurts so much."

Mal pulls Natara close and she gives in and burys her head into his chest, again crying uncontrollably.

**Mal:**"I know, I know Natara."

Natara pulls away from Mal and takes few steps back.

**Natara:**"I just don't understand why this happened...I mean I know why it happened, but why did it have to happen to us?"

**Mal:**"I-I don't know Nat...I don't know...I mean I never expected any of this to happen...I never expected that we were going to have a-"

Mal stops himself, he didn't want to say that word, it was if it was dangerous word that should never be said, like when you were a kid and you knew there were certain words you weren't allowed to say because if you did, you'd get into trouble, but to Mal's shock Natara shouts back.

**Natara:**"A baby Mal...just say it! We were going to have a baby, but I lost it and now it's gone and we can't do anything about it, we'll never hold it or love it or watch it grow, because it's gone...it's gone!"

At that point Natara collapses to the floor in tears and Mal runs to her side and holds her close trying to comfort her, Natara hung on to Mal's strong arms as they wrapped around her, never letting go.

**More to come in chapter 3! Hope you liked this chapter please review! Thanks Jade :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, Thank you to everyone thats supported this story so far Im really grateful! :D**

**Review Replies-**

**Katlana Child**

**Thank you so much, glad you like it! :)**

**mozzi-girl**

**I know, I always like to think Mal would be there for Natara no matter what, because he looovves her hehe! :) Glad you like the story,means alot! :)**

**PlayingWithColdFlames**

**I know, don't worry, im planning more happy stuff for Mal and Natara soon maybe! :)**

**BreezyFan**

**Thank you so much, sorry I nearly made you cry :/ glad your enjoying the story! :D**

**Artist For Love**

**Thanks glad you like it! :)**

**On with the next Chapter... :D**

Natara lays fast asleep wrapped in a warm duvet, Mal stands in the doorway and watches her as she sleeps peacefully, while he's deep in thought; _I love her so much but she's right, where do we stand, we're not together but after everything that's happened-_ suddenly Mal thoughts are cut off by a knock at the door, Mal quietly closes the door to the bedroom, trying not to wake Natara and he makes his way across the apartment to answer the door.

**Blaise:**"Hey Mal."

**Mal:**"Hey Blaise, come in."

Blaise walks in and sits on the couch, Mal brings them both steaming hot cups of coffee, Blaise thanks him as she takes a cup and he sits opposite her, she takes a sip of the coffee, then looks at Mal with deep concern.

**Blaise:**"So..how you holding up?"

Mal sighs deeply.

**Mal:**"As good as I can be given the circumstances."

**Blaise:**"How's Natara?"

**Mal:**"I just don't know what to do, she hasn't come out of the bedroom in days, she won't eat anything, she won't talk to me, she's just stays in there and sleeps all day!"

**Blaise:**"How long has it been since it happened?"

**Mal:**"I don't know..I lost count after the fourth week, I called the doctor and he says that it's great she's getting all this rest but she needs to talk about it, you know start the healing process but she's completely shut me out, the doctor gave the us the number for a physiatrist, he thought maybe she might feel better talking to a professional but she refuses to go, I just don't know what to do anymore!"

**Blaise:**"Well I guess everyone deals with these things differently...losing a baby is heartbreaking and I can't imagine what you guys are going though! Just give her some more time, she'll talk to you when she's ready!"

Mal smiles weakly.

**Mal:**"I hope so."

Blaise smiles and downs the rest of her coffee and places the empty cup on the coffee table as she stands up from the couch.

**Blaise:**"Well I'd better get going, the Captain was expecting me half an hour ago!"

**Mal:**"Oh hope you won't get grilled by the Captain for coming here!"

**Blaise:**"Nah she'll understand,I'll catch you later, you know where I am if you need me Mal."

**Mal:**"Thanks Blaise, means alot."

Mal pulls Blaise into a friendly hug and after a few minutes, they both pull back and head for the front door.

**Blaise:**"No problem, take care and give my best to Natara."

**Mal:**"I will, cya later."

Mal closes the door behind Blaise after she leaves, shortly after he hears the sound of faint footsteps and the sound of a door creaking open, he turns to look towards the bedroom, to see Natara poking her head out the doorway."

**Natara:**"Who was that?"

**Mal:**"Blaise just came to see how you were."

**Natara:**"Oh."

Natara walks over to the couch and curls up, still wearing her PJ's, she looks over at Mal.

**Natara:**"Can I talk to you?"

**Mal:**"Of course."

Mal is quick to sit by Natara's side; relieved that she's finally ready to open up to him.

**Natara:**"I errm Ive been thinking alot these past few days and Ive decided that obviously I'm not going to ready to have children for a long time, I never want to have to go through that again! But I kept thinking where this leaves us now...to be honest I wasn't really sure where we were when we were having this baby...but I've been thinking about us and how I feel and errmm...baby or no baby...I-I love you Mal and nothings going to change that."

Mal takes Natara's hand and smiles, looking deeply into her eyes.

**Mal:**"Natara, I love you so much and losing the baby was really hard for me but I tried so hard to stay strong for you and if I lost you too it would kill me and if in sixty years from now, we're still sat right here on this couch, with you in you PJ's just talking or watching TV, or even eating chinese food, well that would be the best life I could possibly ask for!"

Natara smiles for the first time in weeks, she gently squeezes Mal's hand and there's a slight gleam in her eyes.

**Natara:**"Mal...are you...are you proposing to me?"

Mal's smile grows even wider.

**Mal:**"Yeah,I guess I am!"

**Natara:**"Well in that case...the answer is yes!"

Mal and Natara both smile and pull eachother close into a passionate kiss, they were getting married and for the first time in a long time they couldn't be happier.

**Aww Maltara! hehe :D Hope you liked it please review! Jade :)**


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